last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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