Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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