Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
