i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
