Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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