David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
