She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
