Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
