we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
