Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
