IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
