we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
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I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
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Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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