She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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