TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
