Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
