Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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