Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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