So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
