The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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