i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
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Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
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I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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