why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
