Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
