I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.