it wasn't lemon gatorade
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
