Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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