At least make sure they are 18
Why
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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