I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
