Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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