Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
my poor anus
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
