And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
