alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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