Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
