I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
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We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
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As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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