I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
