She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
