Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
