i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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