What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
