I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
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He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
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There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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