No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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