I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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