Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
worst night to have a conscience
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
