Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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