Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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