I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
God, I missed his penis.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
