I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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