Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
tell me about the eggs
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
