I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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