He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
