I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
