So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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