Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch