I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.