The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
