Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
