As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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